Updated: Feb 5
The end of the Silly Season brings us crashing back to our “routine”. We often find so much comfort in our routine, a known level of restriction and rules and stress that in some ways we enjoy. The devil we know.
In this day and age of fast communications and full lives, we need to make sure we allow space for luxurious self-care within our routine of busyness so we can properly relax. If we don't do this we can become irritable, angry, depressed, low in libido, exhausted and potentially non-orgasmic.
Stopping for a minute to be present to an intimate massage is connecting with your body, mind and soul, moving your erotic energy and expanding your Ki, so that you can become more magnetic. The perfect liquid drop of self-care in a stress driven busy capitalist world.
Of course, the professional spa and facial for a woman is an acceptable form of self-care, we call it “me-time”. You don’t ask your partner for permission to go get a haircut and colour, do you? It allows you to indulge yourself, because you deserve it, and because you desire it.
For men, a form of self-care is a professional erotic experience that allows for connection, relaxation and movement of energy. Again, an indulgence he feels he deserves and desires.
One of the first steps is having the courage to talk with your partner about your desire for a professional erotic experience. We often find it scary to expose ourselves in this way; to speak of our fantasies and erotic needs and our active plans to explore them. But this exposure, this openness of spirit, is essential to true intimacy between couples.
I understand that some might see this as too private..."I don’t have to share it with anyone, thank you very much!" But it's essential, as you are communicating about having the desire and the right to erotic "me-time”.
Another aspect of communicating your desires, is how sexy it can be to share your turn-ons with your partner. You give them the opportunity to ponder your desires, come to terms with and accept your longing for new adventures, and even be turned on by them.
You allow them into your vulnerable place of desire.
The monogamous social model fed to us by society and the media encourages you to suppress and deny your true desires.
I say challenge this model!
Monogamy requires transparency and sharing in order for it to work in the long-term. Any relationship requires open and honest communication, a safe supportive space to speak your truth, share your emotional states, your desires, and to express your appreciation of your partner.
If your partner can give you a skilled, mind blowing full body massage for an hour and a half that takes them on a transcendental journey of seduction, sensation and erotic build up and explosion, then great. However the premium massage service providers deliver a space that is confidential, consent-based and professional, and that’s why people keep coming back.
When we learn to set time aside for talking, for rejuvenating ourselves, for relaxing and connecting with our erotic body, we feed our hungers and are more balanced in our interactions with others in the rest of our life.