Updated: Mar 18
I want to talk about fantasies. I love living out my fantasies. During my late 20’s, I was privileged to be with an amazing man who encouraged my fantastical stories, and we explored the realms of our deep minds together. I learnt how to express my desires, my dirty thoughts, my kinks, and my fears and dealt with the shame of being openly sexual.
I know that most us would like to explore our fantasies but don’t know how to start approaching it. Many people don’t even want to acknowledge what really turns them on, because they label themselves a slut before they even go start, or experience a type of guilt or shame that ends up leading to sexual repression.
Guilt, shame and blame are the enemies of the base chakra. They deny us pleasure and shut down the flow of natural erotic energy through our bodies.
The expression of our fantasies is a healthy natural activity and when played out well, opens up a beautiful space of sharing, roleplay, multiple orgasms, excitement, mystery and satisfaction.
So how do we do allow the expression of our erotic fantasies? I encourage you to shine light on your hidden desires, embrace your shadow aspects and allow your creative stories out into the open air. I find that what I have already done is less interesting than what is burning on my mind right now. I give energy to this current fantasy and watch it grow (although there are a few stubborn fantasies that keep wanting to be explored, wanting me to dive even deeper).
7 TIPS FOR YOU TO TRY
1. Write or type your story out, this allows for research, contemplation and juicy creativity to flow
2. Send your story, or first chapter of your story, to your lover/wife/husband
3. Ask your partner for a fantasy in return
4. If it is a fantasy that cannot be realised in actuality, for legal or high moral reasons, then delve into it when you are making love, as an audio story only
5. There is nothing wrong with sharing your dirty fantasies with each other, with no intention of actualizing them… in fact it is H O T
6. If it is a fantasy that can be realised in actuality, then discuss if you would like to put energy into into it. Delve into it when you are making love, get all sexy with the imagination
7. Make it happen by making sound agreements with your play partner
Learn more about how to create roleplay games with your partner by visiting Touch of Justine, either as an individual or a couple.
Roleplay liberate us from the things we are most frightened of and allows us to look at them
Through different characters, we sometimes touch on parts of ourselves that we don't want to see
Roleplay can heal situations and whole lineages! and help us to grow as human beings with emotional maturity
This all sounds a bit heavy, but essentially there is nothing to lose by exposing your fantasies to your partner, when you create a safe fun non-judgmental space. It is a beautiful exploration and integration of your “other sides”.