I remember how nervous I was at the prospect of girl-on-girl action. At the time, I was a spunky young burgeoning bisexual in Melbourne, discovering myself and anyone else that took my fancy. Despite having the same anatomy, having sex with a woman was quite daunting for me. Luckily, one night at a kink club, I met a goddess of a woman who wanted to show me the ropes. Wink wink.

No matter how confident you are, or how much lesbian porn you may have watched, navigating lady-love takes some know-how.

Every pussy is as unique as its owner, and it goes without saying that communication is key!

Here are 8 finger-fun tips to get you started:

1. Ask questions with each new partner, and encourage feedback.

2. If you're a woman or have a vulva yourself, think about how you like your body to be approached, and do that to start with. Do you like your breasts touched first, or your hands, or head or your feet?

3. Hold your whole hand cupped over their pubis and vulva and apply strong pressure, then release the pressure, then press on again, pumping. Notice how hard they grind into your hand. If they don’t grind, then approach that pussy slowly with light touch, if they start pushing and grinding, you know you can approach that pussy with a little more vigour.

4. Clitoral stimulation is how most women and people with vulvas achieve orgasm, but everyone's body is slightly different. Some people enjoy very fast friction directly to the clitoris, while others enjoy slow rubbing on the outer lips or on the hood before going anywhere close to the clitoris. Again, ask for feedback if it's not obvious!

5. In my experience, mutual oral is a great warm up to other things. Lay on your sides in a lying 69 position, it’s lazier. Then when you feel you want to get really into it, you can roll up onto your lover and get serious.

6. Ask if they want to be penetrated. Use your index and middle fingers tight together (lubricated if necessary) to push against the vagina opening and perineum to start with, then begin to slowly enter the vagina, keeping your fingers in the same trajectory, the tips facing up to the belly button. When a few centimetres in, start to make a slow “come hither” motion with your fingers to stroke the top wall of the vagina around the G Spot. Ask for feedback.

7. If you have a vulva yourself, practise on your own bits to see what feels good, after all you have one right there!

8. Engage a professional who can hold your hand, turn you on and show you the basics. Make sure you research who will provide a safe space for your curiosities, speak with them on the phone and verify they are genuinely experienced.

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