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How to develop a strong compassionate connection in a relationship?
Updated: Sep 9, 2022
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
-- Brene Brown
Connection is the emotional bond between two people. It is a bond, link or tie to someone or something.
As a couples therapist I have seen so many relationships end because the authentic connection between two people has been broken. Most of the time the two people still love each other deeply but a maze of trauma, conditioning and destructive and indulgent patterns has been built throughout the time of the relationship. This creates the sense that the problems and lack of trust are irreversible and the couple lose hope.
Which is why it is my mission to help people to look at themselves and their patterns of behaviour so they can develop a stronger connection to themselves, first, and then learn how to have more intimate and fluid communication with those in their everyday environment.
Creating a relationship of deep connection with our partner/s requires honesty, vulnerability and listening and supporting each other. This is the only way that we will "win" the battles that every relationship goes through.
Here are some lessons and tips that you can use now to create juicy, compassionate and healthy connections:
Stay curious about your partner - always be open to learning something new and interesting about them
Listen and support each other - make an agreement to practice holding a safe space for communication - I call it "talking stick" time
Talking stick protocols provide a space for truth and vulnerability with one another, and we practice speaking up about the things that concern us in the relationship, or about how we are feeling within ourselves
Regular talking stick time builds the intimacy and trust the relationship needs to really thrive - but we must follow the protocols so we retain a safe container to express ourselves in
Don't stop learning about each other - what activities make them happy, what makes them angry, what do they want to explore, what excites them, what brings them to their knees in joy & celebration, what makes them smile mysteriously???
Allow your partner to be their natural magnificent selves. Don't try to change them!!
Often, it can be difficult navigating this connection path with your partner on your own.
I provide intimacy coaching for couples to help design or renew a strong and compassionate connection. Together, we create the foundations of non-violent communication and the self-awareness that is needed for a relationship to truly thrive.
If you have any questions or would like to find out more contact me here,